All That Glitters My Version of Episode
by Parent12D
Summary: This is basically my version of the episode All That Glitters and how I feel like it should have went. The plot is the same as the episode, but with a few twists. Read and find out the twists for yourself. OneShot


**Ladies and Gentlemen, I now have a new fan fiction for Spongebob and the name of it is called:**

 **All That Glitters (My Version of the Episode)**

 **As the title implies, this fan fiction is basically a remastered version of the episode. Honestly, most of the stuff in this episode was pretty good except for two major flaws:**

 **1.) Spongebob was crying like a banshee all because he broke his spatula, and 2.) Beginning at the midway point of the episode, Spongebob remains butt naked for the rest of the episode even after Le Spatula leaves him and it seems totally unfair that Spongebob didn't demand a refund for the fact that Le Spatula left him.**

 **This story has a couple of big twists to make it seem better. I'll also leave an author's note at the end after this story, for now, enjoy the story everyone.**

 **Spongebob is owned by Nickelodeon and of course, by creator Stephan Hillenburg.**

* * *

It was a wonderful day at the Krusty Krab and business was going good like normal. However, a bunch of events are about to start, when some fat fish man wearing really geeky glasses decided to order something that no one really orders anymore, and in fact, it's very risky order and incredibly hard to make and to eat as well.

"One Monster Krabby Patty, please," The customer asked for towards Squidward the cashier who wrote down '1 Monster Krabby Patty' on a paper and took it out of a notebook.

"Hmph, No one's ordered the monster patty in ages," Squidward commented as he then told Spongebob. "Spongebob one monster krabby patty,"

What Spongebob just heard made him speechless as he then gasped and then stuttered.

"Did you say a monster krabby patty?"

"Uhh, one monster krabby patty," Squidward repeated himself as Mr Krabs overheard him and then gasped.

"HUH?! Monster krabby patty?!"

"Monster krabby patty?!" All the customers said with shocked looks on their faces.

"Monster krabby patty?!" Some guy in the bathroom overheard all this and sounded shocked as well.

Suddenly a set of real life hands placed a huge spanking pile of clumped up meat onto the grill, on top of the other patties already on it.

"Oh dear Neptune," Spongebob sounded nervous, having a feeling something bad is about to happen.

"Oh, boy," Squidward rolled his eyes and turned away from the kitchen.

Trying to gain enough courage, Spongebob placed his lovely spatula underneath the huge behemoth that's a monster krabby patty as he then said.

"We can do this. At the count of three, we flip. Ready? One, two, THREE!"

The moment he said that he tried using his strength to flip the monstrous patty when sudden, you guess it… his spatula ended up breaking, and this got Spongebob shocked and speechless.

"Spat?" Spongebob asked nervously hoping that what he just saw happened wasn't true, but it was true since the spatula was broken, with the upper part stuck underneath the monster patty and Spongebob realized what just happened.

 **"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"** He screamed to the heavens as he started making that particular girly scream that he made back in Season 1 of the series, as he then showed everyone what just happened to his Spatula. He showed it to Squidward, to Mr. Krabs, then to a couple of the customers, that random guy in the bathroom, then went outside and showed it to a couple of police men, some citizens, and then to a mother and her baby who was also screaming with Spongebob. He then showed it to his reflection in the mirror, and because it was a reflection, the reflection was screaming too.

Spongebob was now in some Psychiatrist's room as he continued that particular scream. He then stopped screaming for a second as the Psychiatrist then said.

"Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Go on,"

Spongebob then resumed his screaming and eventually he was now alone on top of some pink colored mountain, but he was alone for long, as Patrick for some unknown reason was just walking up the pink mountain and then once he saw Spongebob screaming, Patrick decided to join in, making that same screaming sound he made that one time when the police kept showing him a picture of 'the maniac'.

* * *

Some time later, Spongebob finally stopped screaming as an ambulance then came and picked up the broken Spatula as it then left, with Spongebob standing there still tears in his eyes with Mr. Krabs right beside him, and after seeing enough of the scene, Mr. Krabs then said.

"Well, we better get back to work,"

Spongebob wasn't in the mood for work since Spat his Spatula was broken.

"Work? How can I go back to work without...without Spat?!" Spongebob cried.

"Use another spatula." Mr. Krabs suggested. Spongebob however, was against his idea as he could never replace Spat.

"WHAT?! There is only one spatula for me, and that is Spat," Spongebob announced as he then made a run for the hospital. "Spat, wait up! Spat! I'm coming Spat."

Mr. Krabs just watched him head for the hospital.

* * *

Sometime later at the hospital, Spongebob is by Spat's bed with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, Spat," Spongebob started recalling. "We've been through so much together."

Then a flashback started, showing a montage of happy memories Spongebob had with the Spatula, including flipping krabby patties, laying on the beach using Spat to help flip him, using Spat to scratch his back like a backscratcher, playing ping pong or table tennis using Spat and winning. He even remember getting into a fight with some pirate and used Spat to take down the pirate who was using a pirate sword and Spat saved Spongebob's life with Spongebob laughing happily at this.

The flashback then ended as a doctor then approached Spongebob as he then said.

"There's no easy way to say this. SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula."

Spongebob then weeps as the doctor pats him on the back to try to comfort him.

"Go home. Get some rest. Well try to do everything we can,"

Spongebob felt a little better as he then said.

"Thank you doctor."

"Oh, I'm not a doctor," The not doctor revealed. "I'm an actor who's searching for a role. Yes! Woohoo! I am so totally gonna get this part."

"Hey! Perhaps I can be of assistance to this whole Spatula dilemma!" A human man said as the man was wearing an air helmet and for his suit, he was wearing a suit and tie and was dressed as some executive business man and had orange hair. "The name is Andrew, and I am willing to give you assisting insurance on a replacement spatula, which in this case, I am able to demand a refund for anything that goes horribly wrong. Here's my business card."

Andrew then hands Spongebob his business card.

"Thank you Mr. Andrew," They shook hands as Spongebob gave Spat one last kiss as he left the hospital with Andrew accompanying him.

* * *

"Replacement spatula? How can anything ever replace..." He was cut short as he then saw something amazing. "HEY! Look at that!" Spongebob made a dash for a window with Andrew rushing.

"What is it," Andrew asked as they then saw a notice sign that said 'Le Spatula' on it and it appeared to be a high tech spatula that looks more like some advanced technology in the form of a spatula.

 _Looks fancy. So shiny. All those lines so sleek._ Spongebob thought to himself as he then shook his head. _What am I talking about? I don't need this._

He tries walking away as he then somehow got inside without using the door and got a closer look of it.

"Maybe I do need this," Spongebob admits as Andrew was inside too.

"Spongebob, I would be careful if I were you," Andrew warned him.

"I just wanna see what it can do," Spongebob stated as he recalled what the 'not' doctor said to him.

 _SpongeBob, if I were you, I would give serious consideration to start thinking about a replacement spatula._

Spongebob remembered those words as he then made reach to touch the spatula. Unfortunately, one of the employees smacked his hand away.

"OW!" Spongebob cried as he brought his hand back.

"Uh-uh! No touchy-touchy the Le Spatula! It is very very expensive," The man stated.

"I'm sorry," Spongebob apologized bearing an apologetic look on his face while Andrew had more of a suspicious look on his face.

"Of course, if you purchase this fine item, you may... hold it," The man then said.

"I've got some loose change in my pocket, will this cover it?" Spongebob got out what appeared to be a dozen stacks of money which looked like it was $500.

The man was then thinking as he then typed in some numbers in his calculator coming up with a decision. He then decided as he then said.

"No."

They then were in Spongebob's house as Spongebob smashed a piggy bank with his hammer showing a bunch of pennies.

"How about now?" Spongebob asked.

"No," The man said again as Spongebob broke another piggy bank showing more pennies.

"Now?"

"No," Spongebob breaks another piggy bank showing the same results.

"Now?"

"No," Spongebob breaks another piggy bank.

"Now?"

"No," Spongebob breaks another piggy bank with the same amount inside.

"Now?"

"No," Spongebob breaks yet another piggy bank.

"Now?"

"No,"

Seeing all the piggy banks were broken, he got out a rare diamond from Gary's shell and showed him the diamond.

"Now?"

"No,"

"Well how much is it then, huh mister," Andrew asked sounding really annoyed with how this man wasn't satisfied.

Spongebob then went and decided to sell him house away just for 'Le Spatula'.

"That's everything I have. Now can I buy Le Spatula?" Spongebob asked.

"Everything, huh?" The man then looked at Spongebob's outfit. "Nice outfit!"

"OH NO!" Andrew already knew what the man was thinking. "Before you attempt to make Spongebob go completely nude, just know that if anything goes wrong with Le Spatula, just know that I am able to demand a refund and make sure it happens, since I am kinda like a lawyer, and that includes his house and his outfit. Am I understood?"

The man shook his head nervously not wanting to make a mistake of insulting the man in a business suit.

"Good then we're good to go then," Andrew concluded as they made the deal.

* * *

Sometime later, Spongebob was now roaming the streets nude while carrying Le Spatula in its package which some of the citizens were shocked at his nudeness. Andrew was right by his side, as Spongebob then said to one of the citizens.

"Hey, Granny, what's shakin?"

Spongebob walked into the Krusty Krab with Andrew beside him as Spongebob admits it's breezy out today and Squidward then saw Spongebob's nudeness and felt like bursting out in laughter.

"Nice outfit, SpongeBob!" He then snorted like a pig while laughing.

"Thanks, Squidward. It was worth every penny," Spongebob said walking into the kitchen with Andrew by his side. Mr. Krabs heard the nonsense and demanded an explanation.

"What's all the lollygagging about?"

"Mr Krabs," Squidward laughed. "Get a load of Spongebob,"

"This better be good," Mr. Krabs comment heading for the kitchen with Squidward.

"Soon everyone will know of your beauty," Spongebob commented about Le Spatula.

"Just keep your eyes peeled for anything that ends up going wrong," Andrew adviced. "I can tell you already that there's already gonna be a catch."

Spongebob nodded as Mr Krabs then called out.

"Alright, what's going on in-" He was cut short when he saw Spongebob completely naked. "OH MY GOODNESS! Spongebob! Don't you have any shame, boy?!"

"All my shame went into here, Mr. Krabs." He said, taking Le Spatula out as Mr. Krabs and Squidward saw it.

"Le Spatula! What in blazes is that?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"Oh, just the answer to our little production dilemma," Spongebob stated as Le Spatula started glowing red.

"Well, what can it do?" Krabs asked.

"Can it make me famous?" Squidward wanted to know.

"Anything you want and more," Spongebob said as he pushed a button causing Le Spatula to spin.

"Ooh, that sounds exciting. Let me have a go at it." Krabs started to reach out for the spatula.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do." Spongebob shook his head.

"What? Are you going against your commanding officer?" Mr. Krabs sounded offended.

"No, it's not that. It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering that takes quality time to master," Spongebob stated.

"Not to mention the fact that we have no idea if this piece of technology will backfire on us," Andrew stated.

"Who are-"

"The name's Andrew and I am assisting Spongebob with his spatula dilemma. Please to meet you," Andrew stated.

"Well anyway, with that fancy machinery, I expect you to make krabby patties twice as fast." Krabs stated.

"Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem, Mr. Krabs. In fact..." Spongebob then completely activated the Spatula as it then spoke.

"Le Spatula 3000 at your service!" The spatula spoke with a mechanical and very strong French accent. Mr. Krabs was pretty impressed.

"Huh, impressive. Well, let's see that thing impress me even more by bringing in more customers and more money in me pocket."

Mr. Krabs started laughing as he and Squidward then left the kitchen.

"Oh, you won't believe what Le Spatula is capable of. Ready to show em buddy?" Spongebob asked as the spatula withdrew into hiding. "Oh, it's ok. No need to be shy. It's always tough the first day on the job,"

"I'm certainly ready," Andrew said with a notebook and pencil on hand, ready to take notes while inspecting the spatula. "Let's get cracking."

"Uhh, can I get one krabby patty, please?" A customer asked as Squidward wrote that down and showed it to Spongebob.

"SpongeBob, I need one krabby patty," Squidward stated.

"One krabby patty, coming up lickity split." Spongebob called out getting ready to use Le Spatula to flip the patty.

Unfortunately, the spatula kept turning away right before it made contact with the krabby patty. Andrew took note of this as he then wrote that the spatula is not cooperating.

"Spat, is there something wrong, pal?" Spongebob asked.

"I would not dare touch such slop as how do you say krabby patty. I am designed for the up most interesting cuisine. No less!" Le Spatula stated.

Andrew then wrote the spatula was being defiant and not wanting to flip patties.

"But, but, I thought we were friends." Spongebob sounded sad.

"Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class." The spatula broke out of Spongebob's grip and then two legs came out of the bottom. "Have a nice life of mediocrity, fry cook!" The spatula mocked and laughed as Andrew wrote down the spatula was being a big jerk. The spatula then began to run away.

"Le Spatula Wait!" Spongebob cried out as he started running after it. "I gave up everything for you. We had something!"

The spatula then somehow grew an arm and punched Spongebob in the face. Andrew witnessed this and wrote down that the spatula just attacked Spongebob.

"How's this for something?" The spatula retorted. "Au revoir, peasants! Have fun laboring in your greasy spoon,"

With one spit onto the ground, the spatula then ran away as Andrew wrote down everything that just happened. Mr. Krabs wanted to know what just took place.

"What happened?!" He asked.

"Le Spatula is gone, Mr. Krabs." Spongebob stated.

"Well how are you gonna make Krabby Patties WITHOUT A SPATULA?!" Krabs sounded upset.

"I know what I'm gonna do," Andrew stated. "I'm going down and showing that man what just happened and how the spatula backfired. If he defies me, I'll sue him."

Andrew then headed out to that guy who sold the Le Spatula in the first.

"I had a spatula once," Spongebob got back on track. "A real spatula. One that stood by me through thick and thin, through grease and gristle, and I betrayed his loyalty, like a fool!"

"I always did like your old spatula. It got the job done every time." Mr. Krabs admitted.

"You're right, Mr. Krabs," Spongebob then realized something. "The true measure of a good spatula is by his actions. Not by some fancy chrome and buttons. I gotta find my old spatula,"

"Go to em. Go now, boy. Go before I lose all me customers." Krabs demanded as he then started crying while Spongebob went to the hospital to get his original spatula back.

* * *

At the hospital, Spongebob was wanting to see his original spatula again, when the beeping made a long beep sound, indicating the person stopped breathing and is dead.

"Spatula? It can't be true. It's too late!" He started crying as the not doctor approached him and told him something.

"SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this..."

"I know," Spongebob interrupted. "He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. He's gone!"

"Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part." The actor sounded sad.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Spongebob said as he started crying some more.

"Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary." The actor admitted as a spatula was seen on a wheelchair, all better.

"Spatula!" He seemed to brighten up as he ran for his lovely spatula. "Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better!"

The spatula shook his head as he turned around, looking like he was betrayed.

"Spatula, what's wrong?" Spongebob asked.

The Spatula shook his head, as Spongebob actually understood what he was saying.

"But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby patties don't flip themselves, you know," Spongebob then began to have a meltdown. "It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry-y-y-y! Oh, what have I done? What have I done? This is all my fault!"

He then started crying and was rolling around in his tears. Then suddenly, Andrew, as if he was actually narrating the story turned to the audience and said.

"All that glitters is not gold," Andrew then sunk back down as Spongebob was still crying. After thinking, the spatula then made a decision and left Spongebob to cry.

"Goodbye best friend,"

Spongebob then crawled like a snail back to the Krusty Krab leaving a trail of tears as he then went into the kitchen and when he came to a stop, he then sat up with tears in his eyes.

"I'll never find another spatula like him, again," Spongebob concluded as he then noticed something on the grill. The Spatula was somehow flipping the Krabby Patties by his lonesome.

"Spatula?" He asked as the spatula made a gesture, as if the spatula has forgiven Spongebob for his actions.

"Your back!"

Spongebob then reached out for his beloved spatula and held it out high, feeling beamed.

"Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us."

"Hey Spongebob," Andrew came in as he was holding Spongebob's outfit and shoes. "I gave that guy a piece of my mind and got back everything that's yours."

"Thanks Andrew." Spongebob said.

"Anytime. Now put your clothes back on," Andrew said as Spongebob then put his pants, shirt, tie, socks and shoes back on.

"I'm happy my spatula is back again." Spongebob sounded thrilled. "What can possibly go wrong now?"

"One monster krabby patty," Squidward called out as the same set of real life hands placed the same amount of clumped up meat from before onto the grill.

"Ok, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three."

He then made another attempt to flip it, except this time, his hands came off.

"I'll handle it." Andrew got his hands and placed it back on them. The Spatula wasn't broken this time.

"Here you go." Andrew placed Spongebob's hand back on. "Now it's time I talk to Mr Krabs and make him remove Monster Krabby Patties from the menu."

Spongebob was fascinating with his Spatula while Andrew went to talk to Mr. Krabs.

* * *

 **ONE VERY BORING MEETING LATER…**

* * *

"Spongebob I'm back." Andrew said vacuuming the clump of meat off the grill.

"How did it go," He asked.

"Well he was hesitant and defiant at first, but after I told him how easily I can sue him and take away all his money, we made a deal. Monster Patties are being removed from the menu." Andrew explained.

"Great!" Spongebob cheered as Andrew showed him that on the menu, Monster Krabby Patties were erased from the menu and no longer being sold there.

"Thanks for all your help Andrew," Spongebob thanked. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem," Andrew said. "My work here is done, so I'll just be leaving now."

"Okay, I'll see you again sometime Mr. Andrew," Spongebob waved goodbye to Andrew.

"You'll see me again someday. Farewell!" Andrew then got on a motorcycle and drove off into the distance with Spongebob waving farewell to him. It was all good, Spongebob was wearing clothes again, he has his money back, monster patties are no longer sold and Spongebob has his original Spatula again. It was a happy ending now, as this is it.

 **THE END!**

 **THAT'S THE STORY EVERYONE! HOPE IT WAS MUCH BETTER THAN THE ACTUAL EPISODE! NOW FOR AN AUTHOR'S NOTE, JUST SAYING, THE EPISODE ONLY HAD A COUPLE OF ERRORS, AND HONESTLY, I DON'T THINK THE WRITERS WERE AT FAULT! I LIKE ERIK WIESE AND HE HAS WRITTEN SEVERAL EPISODES FOR SPONGEBOB IN THE PAST!**

 **ALSO, INSTEAD OF CRYING LIKE A BANSHEE, SPONGEBOB MADE THAT SCREAM HE MADE DURING THE FIRST SEASON SINCE I FOUND THAT SCREAM TO BE FUNNY! AND BY THE END OF THIS STORY, SPONGEBOB HAD CLOTHES ON AGAIN AND MONSTER PATTIES WERE REMOVED FROM THE MENU! JUST SAYING!**

 **WELL NOW THAT'S ALL I GOT! PLEASE BE SURE TO LEAVE A REVIEW TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! THAT'S ALL!  
BYE NOW!**


End file.
